Therapy is meant to be a place where people show up fully as themselves—but for many neurodivergent individuals, that’s not always the case. Instead of feeling understood, they often find themselves navigating environments where their natural ways of thinking, feeling, or expressing are misunderstood or pathologized.

In honor of our continued commitment to inclusive care, this blog explores what it really means to support neurodivergent people in therapy without asking them to "mask" who they are.

What Is Masking?

Masking is when neurodivergent people, particularly those with autism or ADHD, suppress their natural behaviors or mimic neurotypical norms in order to fit in or avoid judgment. That might look like:

• Forcing eye contact when it feels uncomfortable
• Hiding stimming behaviors like hand-flapping or pacing
• Over-editing speech or tone to sound "appropriate"
• Suppressing interests or avoiding honesty about struggles

Masking can be exhausting. It leads to burnout, anxiety, identity confusion, and a sense of being disconnected from one’s true self. And in therapeutic spaces, it often prevents people from receiving the support they truly need.

The Problem With Traditional Therapy Norms

Many therapy models are built around neurotypical communication styles and expectations—like verbal processing, stillness, eye contact, and structured emotional expression. For neurodivergent people, these expectations can become barriers rather than tools.

Instead of promoting self-awareness and healing, sessions may reinforce the idea that "progress" means behaving more neurotypically. That’s not care. That’s conformity.

At Mind Speak, we believe the goal of therapy is not to fix who you are, but to help you thrive as you are.

What True Support Looks Like

Therapists can create affirming spaces for neurodivergent clients by:

• Respecting Communication Differences: Allow clients to express themselves through writing, art, movement, or nonverbal cues. Therapy doesn’t have to mean sitting still and talking.
• Normalizing Stimming and Movement: If rocking, fidgeting, or pacing helps someone self-regulate, it belongs in the therapy room.
• Decentering Eye Contact: Eye contact is not a universal sign of engagement. Don’t demand it.
• Letting Go of "Shoulds": Instead of pressuring clients to be more socially "appropriate," explore what safety and comfort look like on their terms.
• Being Curious, Not Clinical: Don’t pathologize every trait. Ask, "How does this show up for you?" rather than "How can we eliminate this?"

The Importance of Unmasking Safely

Unmasking isn’t about "letting everything go"—it’s about creating the safety to be honest. Many neurodivergent individuals have internalized shame around their traits. Therapy can help unpack that shame and rewrite the narrative.

Unmasking safely might mean:

• Taking time to understand which coping strategies are authentic vs. performative
• Creating routines that match a person’s energy flow rather than fighting it
• Celebrating special interests and passion projects as legitimate self-care
• Talking through how to navigate the world without erasing identity

Therapists who support this process understand that vulnerability looks different for everyone.

Centering Lived Experience

 If you're neurodivergent, you deserve a therapist who validates your reality and supports your goals, not one who tries to "fix" or change who you are. That might mean:

• Working with a neurodivergent therapist, if possible
• Finding a provider trained in neurodiversity-affirming care
• Asking in consultations: "How do you approach working with neurodivergent clients?"
• Seeking therapists who understand the social model of disability not just the medical model
• Prioritizing providers who recognize sensory needs, communication styles, and burnout cycles as valid and real
• Ensuring therapy is a space where stimming, silence, and direct communication are not just allowed but respected

Therapy should be a place where you unmask safely, not where you're taught to mask more skillfully.

A good therapist does not pressure you to conform to neurotypical expectations. Your therapy journey should honor your lived experience, your autonomy, and your way of being in the world. You deserve care that meets you where you are, not where society thinks you should be.

Beyond the Therapy Room

Supporting neurodivergent people also means advocating for broader change:

• In Schools: Pushing for classroom models that allow for movement, sensory tools, and alternative ways to learn.
• In Workplaces: Encouraging policies that include flexible communication styles, break routines, and accommodations.
• In Relationships: Educating friends, family, and partners to honor neurodivergent needs without shame or pity.

Therapy can be the catalyst, but unmasking becomes more sustainable when the world stops demanding that people hide in the first place.

Final Thoughts

Supporting neurodivergent people in therapy starts with a simple principle: believe them. Believe their communication, their coping strategies, their boundaries, and their brilliance.

Let therapy be a space of unmasking, not correction. A space of expansion, not restraint.