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Bullying is sometimes dismissed as a normal part of growing up.
Children are told to “ignore it,” “toughen up,” or “stand up for yourself.” While conflict between peers can happen, repeated bullying is different. It can affect how a person feels about themselves, how safe they feel around others, and how they function at school, at home, and in their relationships.
Research has consistently connected experiences of bullying with negative mental-health outcomes, including increased risk of anxiety and depression. Recent U.S. data found that teenagers who had experienced bullying were nearly twice as likely to report symptoms of anxiety or depression compared with teenagers who had not been bullied.
Understanding these effects matters because bullying does not always leave visible signs. Sometimes, the most important changes happen internally.
What Counts as Bullying?
Bullying generally involves repeated aggressive behavior or a pattern of behavior in which there is a real or perceived power imbalance between the people involved.
It can take different forms, including:
- Verbal bullying: insults, threats, humiliation, or repeated name-calling
- Social bullying: deliberately excluding someone, spreading rumors, or damaging their friendships or reputation
- Physical bullying: unwanted physical aggression or damaging someone's belongings
- Cyberbullying: bullying that takes place through phones, social media, messaging, gaming platforms, or other digital spaces
The experience does not have to involve physical violence to cause significant emotional harm.
Because digital communication can follow a young person beyond the school day, cyberbullying can also make it difficult to feel completely removed from the situation.
How Bullying Can Affect Mental Health
1. Anxiety and Constant Worry
When someone repeatedly feels targeted, their brain may begin to anticipate the next negative experience.
A young person may become worried about going to school, entering a particular classroom, checking their phone, eating lunch around other students, or being around certain peers.
This can show up as:
- Excessive worry
- Irritability
- Difficulty concentrating
- Avoiding particular places or situations
- Trouble sleeping
- Frequent physical complaints such as headaches or stomachaches
The CDC identifies bullying as one factor associated with increased risk for anxiety and depression among children and adolescents.
What looks like “not wanting to go to school” may therefore be connected to fear, distress, or an attempt to avoid an environment where the young person does not feel safe.
2. Depression and Withdrawal
Bullying can also affect mood.
A young person who was previously enthusiastic about sports, hobbies, friends, school activities, or family time may gradually become withdrawn or lose interest in things they once enjoyed.
Other signs can include:
- Persistent sadness or irritability
- Feelings of loneliness
- Loss of motivation
- Changes in sleep
- Changes in appetite
- Difficulty concentrating
- Pulling away from friends and family
- Feeling hopeless or worthless
Not every child who experiences bullying will develop depression. Mental health is influenced by many factors, including biology, existing mental-health concerns, family circumstances, relationships, and other stressful experiences.
That is why it is important to look at the whole person rather than assuming one explanation for every change in behavior.
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3. Shame, Self-Doubt, and Low Self-Esteem
Repeated negative messages can begin to influence how someone sees themselves.
A young person may start asking:
“What is wrong with me?”
“Why do they keep picking on me?”
“Maybe I really am what they say I am.”
Over time, this can affect confidence, friendships, school participation, and willingness to try new things.
Importantly, being bullied does not mean there is something wrong with the person being targeted.
Responsibility for bullying belongs with the person choosing to engage in the behavior—not with the person experiencing it.
4. Sleep and Concentration Problems
Emotional distress does not always stay confined to someone's emotions.
The stress associated with bullying can affect sleep, concentration, school attendance, and academic performance. Children and adolescents who experience bullying may also report physical complaints such as headaches or stomachaches.
This matters because adults may sometimes interpret declining grades or frequent absences as laziness, defiance, or lack of motivation.
Sometimes, the more important question is:
“What is making this person struggle right now?”
Bullying Does Not Affect Everyone in the Same Way
There is no single emotional response to bullying.
Some young people become visibly upset. Others become quiet. Some may appear angry or irritable. Others may insist that everything is fine even when they are struggling.
Bullying can also affect people who are not directly targeted.
Young people who witness bullying may experience fear, helplessness, anxiety, or concern that they could become the next target. Those who bully others can also experience negative behavioral and mental-health outcomes. Young people who are both bullied and engage in bullying themselves may face particularly significant difficulties.
This is one reason bullying prevention cannot focus exclusively on identifying a “victim” and a “bully.”
The broader environment matters.
When Bullying and Mental Health Challenges Overlap
Sometimes bullying happens alongside an existing mental-health or developmental concern.
For example, a young person experiencing anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism, a learning disability, or another condition may already be navigating social, emotional, or communication challenges.
This does not mean their diagnosis caused the bullying or that they are responsible for being targeted.
It does mean that they may need support that addresses more than one concern at the same time.
For example, a young person experiencing ADHD may need support with both ADHD-related challenges and the emotional consequences of being bullied. Someone already experiencing anxiety may need help distinguishing their existing anxiety symptoms from fear connected to a particular environment.
This is where a comprehensive mental-health assessment can be valuable.
Instead of asking only, “What diagnosis does this person have?”, a therapist can also explore:
- What has been happening around them?
- When did the changes begin?
- Where do they feel safe?
- What relationships are supportive?
- How has the situation affected their sleep, school, friendships, and confidence?
- What coping strategies are helping—or no longer helping?
Mental health does not exist separately from a person's environment.
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What Can Parents and Caregivers Do?
If you suspect that a young person is experiencing bullying, your response can make a meaningful difference.
Listen before trying to solve the problem.
Give them room to explain what has been happening without immediately interrupting, questioning, or blaming.
Statements such as “I'm glad you told me” or “You don't deserve to be treated this way” can communicate safety and support.
Take changes in behavior seriously.
Sudden withdrawal, school avoidance, changes in sleep, declining academic performance, loss of interest, or increased anxiety may be signs that something is wrong.
These changes do not automatically mean bullying is occurring, but they are worth exploring.
Avoid telling them to simply ignore it.
Ignoring a problem does not always make it disappear, particularly when the behavior is repeated or occurs in environments the young person cannot easily avoid.
Instead, work with the young person and appropriate adults to determine what support and safety measures are needed.
Involve the right adults.
Depending on the situation, this may include a parent or caregiver, teacher, school counselor, school administrator, coach, or mental-health professional.
The goal should not simply be to punish someone. It should be to stop the harmful behavior, improve safety, and support everyone affected.
Consider professional support.
If bullying is affecting someone's mood, relationships, school attendance, sleep, confidence, or everyday functioning, talking with a mental-health professional can provide a supportive space to process the experience and develop healthy coping strategies.
Therapy can also help someone rebuild trust, understand their emotional responses, strengthen coping skills, and reconnect with parts of life that bullying may have disrupted.
When to Seek Additional Help
You do not need to wait until distress becomes severe before asking for help.
Consider reaching out to a qualified mental-health professional if a young person is experiencing persistent anxiety, depression, social withdrawal, significant changes in sleep or appetite, declining functioning at school, or difficulty returning to activities they previously enjoyed.
If a young person expresses that they do not want to be alive or may not be safe, seek immediate support from a trusted adult and an appropriate crisis or emergency service. In the United States, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free, confidential support by call or text.
The important thing is not to handle serious distress alone.
Final Thoughts
Bullying can change more than someone's school experience.
It can affect how safe they feel, how they see themselves, how they relate to other people, and how they respond to stress. For some people, the effects may continue even after the bullying itself has stopped.
But experiencing bullying does not define a person's future.
With safety, supportive relationships, appropriate intervention, and mental-health care when needed, people can process difficult experiences, rebuild confidence, and move forward.
If you or someone you care about is struggling with the emotional effects of bullying, anxiety, depression, or another mental-health concern, Mind Speak is here to help. Reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness. It is a step toward understanding what is happening and finding healthier ways forward.
